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Subject: We live, we love, we forgive and never give up. | 26 December, 2006

Title of this blog thanks to "We Live" by Superchick.

I stink at updating this, don't I?

So basically at Costco's, there was catered food and ltos of cool stuff.


I got;
A sanson mp3 player
a digital camera
a purse
Pirates of the Carribean 2
An awesome black.white striped tank top from Hot Topic that I helped mom buy lol
Fun with Dick and Jane
Pochahontas (the new real life movie)
2 fuzzy socks
Amazing ankle boots with straps that have studs on them
an awesome chucky necklace with giant fake black beads on them
a silver simple necklace with a D on them and matching earings
PJ's that say, "Everyone is intitled to MY opinoun"

and I think that's it.

Mind you, that's from EVERYONE, family (immidate and non-immediate) and my sister's Fiance.

So on Christmas Eve, I couldn't sleep at all. Which is happening a lot lately-- I stay up until maybe 3 or 4 trying to go to sleep them end up sleeping in until 1 BECAUSE I couldn't sleep before.

I set my alarm for 9-- I was going to run into my parents room and jump on their bed until they woke up like I did when i wa three-- but to my surprise they were already up!

The night before I got Pirates 2 and Piratology from Amanda and Dave, and we watched Pirates 2, then my parents left to meet up with some friends at Waffle House (Amanda and Dave left before the movie)
"Do you want us to bring you back anything?" Mom asks.
"From waffle house?" I ask, and she nods. "I value my life-- no thanks!!" Seeing as I've never had a good experience with Waffle House food. I mean, I've never been sick over it-- but it always tastes horrible and burnt and ... dead!

They also wrapped all the presents while we were watching Pirates 2-- They made sure I didn't turn around and look during the movie. Then I wrapped THEIR presents when they went downstairs on the computer.

While I wrapped presents I watched all the behind the scenes/special features of Pirates 2.

I'm weird and like the behind the scenes stuff ALMOST more than the movies lol.
It just gets me excited, though, you know? I'll sit there and think, "Wow, that's going to be me soon. I'll have bloopers and coreographed scenes (if I'm ever in an Action or Dance movie)"
It gets me used to how things work backstage and such.

Speaking of acting, madre STILL hasn't signed my contract for Katalyst yet OR the revisions.
Everytime I remind her she says, "Oh yeah!! We'll do that when we--[insert an activity]!!"
Then we forget.

When this term ends, We're going to contact Haymen talent also and schedual an appointment there to see if they'll represent me as an agency as well.

So then I'll have 2 agencies, and two more chances of getting auditions!

I'll get out of Delaware yet!

I also talked to Aunt Dianna, and when she's not busy and working and madre isn't busy and working, and I don't have Theatre, we're all going to have a girls day out and get my new headshots.

This will work seeing as there's no snow, so we can get some outdoor shots (If it doesn't rain) and a nice surreal shot of me by a fire inside.

It's weird, I told Amy at Katalyst, that I can get new headshots as soon as we have another nice day here in Ohio, and then ever since then, there hasn't been a bad day! I keep thinking, "Man, I feel like I'm keeping everyone from a white christmas!" But I know the weather has nothing to do with me lol!

New Years is COMING!
2007 awaits!

I wonder what next year will bring!
Hopefully some acting gigs.
Maybe I can leave Delaware, Ohio behind for GOOD!
I mean, we ARE in pilot season!

Which makes me nervous.
Katalyst is a brand new agency so they don't have as many clients as other agencies out there, so the chances of me getting a pilot audition are slim to none...
They start casting for pilots all the way in November!
Not to mension, most pilots don't even get ACCEPTED-- I told madre all this and she said, "Well, you'll just have to get into a movie then, won't you?"

I love encouraging madre is for my dream.
My sister is pessmistic about it. "Do you know how small the chances are of you getting famous?" She asks.
Well, being famous isn't my goal, now is it? My goal is to be a role model for other little kids out there who need a possitive role model in their lives and to be an actress.
I want to be a GOOD role model-- the type that changes your view on life. I don't want to be one of those actors that says, "I'm all for being your own person and making good choices!"
then they go have an affair, get drunk, and have their face plastered all over tabloids.
What is that saying to little kids?
Don't have morals?
See, I want to change that.

How did I get into a future rant?
Oh yeah- 2007.

Well, here's my New Years Resolutions.
I know most people say not to make them, because you never do it, but for me their goals to look foreward to and work at;;
1) Stop procrastinating so much
2) Learn to love myself.
3) Limit pop to never-- unless someone orders it for me and I can't decline it.
4) Be more active
5) Live my dreams.

There's no fitness goals on there becuase those are like bad omens for me-- I procrastinate to much for them.

So I put down goals that lead UP to a healthy lifestyle.

Not procrastinating helps me do better in school, turn in contracts on time, work out on my own, and be more responsible.
Like if I borrow Brittany's shirt again, I'll give it back the next day instead of a month later lol!

Learning to love myself--
I realized I am WAY to cridical of myself. Britt helped point it out. She says she hates how down I am about myself.
So then I looked in the mirror and asked myself;
"What am I credical about?"
In my head there was a huge list! There was how my clothes fit, my body, my face, my voice, my acting, EVERYTHING!
It's ridiculous how much I hate my body.
I realized I loved my soul-- but my soul isn't healthy without loving the rest of me. And being so credical of myself was tearing me apart.
I realized there was days I felt so ugly I didn't want to go to school.
That's extreme-- and BAD.
So I'm learning to love myself more, and go back to being the confident girl I used to be.

Limiting pop--
I used to have it where I could only drink one can a week, but then people would order pop for me and I realized I need to only drink it when offered-- as to not be rude about it.
It's bad for you, and tricks your bones into reliseing-- caffeine or something...?
All I know is its bad for you.

Be more active;
I won't need to worry about that so much now that we're back in play/musical season.
I just need to plan for weekends, too.
I realized I wasn't as active as before now that I didn't play tennis this year.

And live my dreams;
self explanitory.

So my hip is hurting me today-- and I feel like an old lady because of it! Lol.

I was so bored I painted my nails black, then added a blue sparkle over them.

So, with my $25 dollars I got for Christmas, I know I should I save it, but I really need a hair cut.
My hair has so many split ends I could decapitate someone with my ponytail-- its to the point where I can't cut them off myself, like I normally do.

So I'm going to get an ich trimmed off, and have my razor cut layors "revitalized" so you can actually tells my hair has layers again. The shortest layer will once again be to the middle of my ear. Then my poor bangs will be cut so I can brush them off to the side once more, instead of part them down the middle.

This works out though, me getting my hair cut, so this way my hair will have time to grow a bit for headshots!

What else happened?
--I'm rambling now--

Oh yeah, I sorta had a "Fling" if you could call it that.
Chris had been flirting with me a lot on the bus, and I found myself liking him.
But once again, my stupid head stopped liking him once he started acting like a boyfriend.
So I'm ticked off at myself because one day I liked him, and then once he started showing he liked me, my brain just switched off and I stopped liking him.

When he asked what was wrong when I wouldn't give him anything to flirt with and I wouldn't let him upt his arm around me (That would be cruel to drag him along) I said I wasn't sleeping that well and it was taking its toll on me.

It also doesn't help that once again, I was feeling pressured to like him.
Our bus was cooeing over how "cute" we looked.

At least now, I'll be so busy with Theatre I won't have to worry about facing him on the bus on the way home from school on tuesdays, thursdays and fridays.

This is so annoying, I like a guy, and when he shows he likes me back, POOF its gone.
I think its my mind telling me, "No Devann, you don't really like him, you like the attention." or "Think about it Devann, if you go out with him, he could be your first kiss. Do you really want him to be your first kiss?"

Maybe I'm being selfish.
Maybe I stop liking guys because I realize I don't want them to be my first kiss.


I keep talking about Theatre but I never filled you in on the auditions or anything!

I'm the lead's understudy.
To make it short.
I'll find something I wrote about it and paste it on here in a second...
Here it is!;;
So when we got in there, they had me read as Fairy first, but they stopped after the first page and had Coree read for her on the next--- but the page Coree read was the page I was the most confident about and the page I read, I just so happened to stink royally at because It was harder for me to get into character there.

I gave it my best shot though, and was doing the twist on stage when the directors weren't looking (so it'll show up on the tape) to show how spontaneous and energetic I would be for that role.
Then, like they were testing me, they had me read Titus and Samuel-- at the same time, and their both 40 year old guys.
I did prety good at that, but I didn't diffiencerate between the characters well, and the motions slurred together so the characters molded into one.. I'm still confident though, if I didn't get the part I know I did my best and will just have to try even harder next time.

I wasn't nervous remarkably-- it was just I was a little at ease when I heard Eric talk about the favorites..

I attached a resume to seem more professional, and to show them I did every single musical and remind them how much I've improved and how dedicated I am to the roles. I really don't want to stand behind stage again-- my parents didn't even go to see the last play because I didn't go out (I was an understudy, so I had to stay in the make-up room and do touch-ups since Ana [thankfully!] didn't get sick])

That was before the results were out.
And the favorites thing;;
the day before auditions I was talking to my mom and sister about it and Amanda was talking about how the Directors played favorites, then madre said they did that when she was in school, too.

I thought they were just being pessmistic, but then before auditions, Eric was going around naming off who would get parts because they were favorites. Even Domii said she knew she was getting a part because she was a favorite.

So I found out more people know about the favorites-- then they told me to look at the cast list when it came out.

Everyone they named as a favorite got a a part. And seeing as all the parts are leads, Eric and everyone else hit the nail dead on.

here's another thing (Sorry my fingers are cold so my typing is all slurry and stuff);;
So basically, I found out on facebook that they posted the results on the schools music website and I am the understudy for Mrs. Savage, the lead.

So basically, the directors proved the favortism thing.

The favorites got all the parts, and appernatly it wasn't just my sister being pessmistic about it.

The whole drama group was talking about it before auditions and then when I called Coree to tell her, her part, she talked about it too.

So, at least now I know.

And seeing as the girl that got Mrs. Savage is as big of a theater junkie as I am, she'll never be absent and will be there for the performance.

This means I get to stay in the make-up room during rehersals once again, curling my uncurable hair out of boredom...

The thing is, I didn't even read for Mrs. Savage.

Ana read for her and did an AMAZING job!

I thought for sure she would get the part-- I was so mad when she didn't!

The girl that got Fairy May-- the one I was trying out for, she didn't even read the script we got for the audition. She said she read, like, half of it.

So that's basically all of it.
Other than Britt got me a chrstmas present and we decided we're goign to write a book about the bag-- tell you more later if I remember!

I'm going to go now, I feel creative and want to take pictures of my dogs!

OH and I finalyl entered the Win a Date With Mitchel Musso Contest-- took me long enough! Lol.

P.S. the pictures on here are old.


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